One Story. Endless Possibilities
Stuck. Fearful. Insecure. Scared. Unlovable. Hopeless. These are just some of the words that described me when my story came to a crashing halt. I truly believed that my story was over. There was no way of redeeming myself and I was convinced that life would never get back to normal. At that time I would have gladly accepted and coveted feeling 1% more like myself. Fear drove me to not leave the house. Shame led to daily panic attacks. My faith in God remained, but really it didn’t. I was embarrassed by my actions and it caused me to not even talk with God. The few times I did, I just ended up lying there in a ball crying. I wasn’t even good enough to talk to God or lay my burdens at His feet.
However, through all of my poor choices and selfishness, this ministry was implanted into my DNA. Continue the Story exists because I was broken. Continue the Story may never have come into fruition if it were not for the experiences in my life that helped shape my story. It’s not to minimize my actions or the hurt that I caused others. I am just grateful for a God who was not done with me – even though I had already given up.
All my hopes and dreams of building the Kingdom of God, empowering others to be unlike any church before, and bring people to Jesus were slipping through my fingers. It was my life. It was my passion. It was my calling. I threw it all away. I started to lose myself. I no longer knew who I was. I couldn’t see it then because I was blinded by the cloud of despair, pity, and sorrow. Here’s what I know now. My story was not and is not even close to being over.
When I finally claimed my worth in Jesus Christ – dreams and passions I never knew I had started flooding my mind. All of which existed because of my epic crash and burn. I found myself at a crossroads. I had a choice… I could keep on living in self-pity and remorse, or I could allow God to continue to use me in ways yet I did not understand. His original calling in my life was ruined by actions, but luckily God is bigger than my stupidity.
One story. Endless possibilities.
No matter where you find yourself currently amongst your story, there is always greatness surrounding your story. Sometimes our grief hides it – but God is ready to move within you and have you be the game changer you are meant to be in this world.
Your story has power. Power of change. Power of hope. Power of life. All of us when life does not go according to plan be it when you go to prison, fight an addiction, become a victim of crime, go through a divorce, lose a loved one, lose your job, become homeless, or wherever your story has led you – your story is not over… it’s just beginning.
The ending to our story has not yet been written. We have the ability to re-write it and have it say we changed the world. We changed the culture. We left a legacy of change not a legacy of hurt. We have the ability to help people who have stories similar to ours.
I can tell you personally – I have done more in my life to let down God than I have to make Him proud. I am done with that! I am going to fight until my body can’t anymore. My story – just like your story – may not have gone as planned, but we have a God who is opening doors for us to reinvigorate our story and give it life. Will we fight for change? Will we fight to bring hope?
I no longer want to live in my past. Rather I choose to live in what the future can be and will be as God helps shape and write my story. Nothing in my past and nothing in my life can stop me except for myself. I have been there and done that. I prefer not do that again. I have ruined enough. It’s time for me to build rather than tear down. It’s time we reclaim our stories.
This is our time. This is our moment. This is our story.